Mr. Federal Tax Man –
We are pleased to report our taxes are finished and submitted - please send our sizable refund ASAP. I know when we first started filing “jointly” you always expected us to send you more money. That didn’t last long - we got smart and bought a house and have continued to own a house for the past seven years – which changed the situation so you would start paying us back yearly. With Mr. California Tax Man deciding not to pay out refunds this year because he claims his pockets have holes in them and there is no more money, we don’t want you to get any ideas (or cut holes in your pockets). We will take measures in regards to our withholdings to insure next year you don’t owe us as large of a refund. Oh – and when are we getting a stimulus check? Our savings account is eagerly waiting.